How to Trust Your Inner Voice
In our fast-paced world of competing demands and endless opinions, sometimes the hardest voice to hear is your own. Today, I’m sharing a conversation that might sound all too familiar…
The Voice That Gets Lost in the Noise
I was recently talking with a client about my experience of going round and round in the horse pen, reflecting on a lesson life has “served us” over and over again.
As I shared last week— when I walked out of the pen (and stopped spiraling), I found myself reflecting on my repeat lesson: learning to listen to my inner “no” and becoming more confident in knowing what’s best for me (I had often gone against my inner knowing trying to people please, be a team player, and meet everyone else’s expectations).
The Spiral of Self-Doubt
What came up for her (and I feel like for so many of us lately with the heated political climate—which seems like the understatement of the century) is that when things go off course or when a topic gets heated… she starts questioning her inner voice: “Am I the one who’s wrong here?”
When coaching (and honestly, in my personal life too) when this type of inner monologue comes up, I like to ask one simple question:
“Are you?”
I love this question and the pause that comes with it because it often stops people in their tracks. Rather than getting buried in a hole of internal condemnation (I must be wrong here. In fact, something must be really, really wrong with me.) and the subsequent spiral of feelings—ignorance, loneliness, disappointment, self-criticism, hurt, humiliation, shame—my client can usually shift back and out to allow a more objective lens.
And trust me, that pause is POWERFUL.
The Power of Pausing
Here’s What That Moment of Pause Really Means
This isn’t about dismissing other perspectives. I’m actually of the opinion that getting multiple viewpoints is super helpful in developing a better grasp on things. We all have relatively narrow lived experiences (some more than others, of course) and biases—so learning from other people is always valuable.
But not at the expense of completely discounting YOUR lived experience, YOUR voice, YOUR values, YOUR expertise.
Because here’s what I’ve seen again and again with busy working moms: when you constantly question your inner voice, you also question whether your needs and wants deserve any sort of priority—or ANY space on the calendar.
Sound familiar?
This Isn’t Just About Arguments or Politics
If you’ve been struggling to make time for yourself or prioritize self-care, I promise it is probably tied back to your self-concept and self-worth.
The Hidden Cost of Ignoring Your Needs
Because if you KNEW that your inner voice was “spot on” and you were confident in your needs and wants, you would:
- Ask for exactly what you needed
- Schedule and coordinate accordingly
- Have structures in place to live your best life
- Say “no” to the things that drain you without guilt
Instead, you sit at family gatherings hours after you want to leave, growing resentful. You take on projects at work when your plate is already overflowing. You squeeze in everyone else’s priorities while yours get pushed to “someday.”
From Questioning to Confidence
My client used to question her inner voice A LOT. Now she can spot when old patterns start to suck her into that kind of thinking… and she’s able to hop out of the hole, dust herself off, and move forward.
She’s built the muscle of trusting herself. Of recognizing her needs and wants—and valuing them.
I want that for you, too.
[BTW: in The ALIGN Method I teach my clients, this is an integral part of my “Learn” section because we actively reassess your values, your wants and needs, and what gives you energy in this phase of life.]
If you’re ready to live with confidence, respect your needs and wants, and build that dream schedule (and life!) that seems just out of reach, I’m here to help you create your personalized Time Freedom plan through my ALIGN Method.
To your time freedom,
Heidi
P.S. Remember that you can handle any emotion that comes with honoring your inner voice—including the discomfort of standing in your truth when others disagree. This is exactly the muscle we build in my Time Freedom Course, and it’s transformative.
P.P.S. If your dream schedule and dream life seem wayyyy more than “just out of reach,” I’m here for that, too. Take a minute, book a quick call; let’s chat!
