I just finished the audio book: The Self-Driven Child by William Stixrud Ph.D. and Ned Johnson and I wanted to share a part where they talk about what makes life stressful and how that shows up in kids’ lives and the a big part of the antidote: agency/ control. Because it’s not just for kids…
They had a helpful acronym NUTS:
N – novelty; something new
U – unpredictability; no way of knowing it could occur
T – threat to the ego; feeling your competence is questioned
S – sense of control; feeling you have little or no control in a situation
It’s easy to think of scenarios where any one of these or a combo can really add to the stress of your day/ week/ month/ year.
It’s also easy to see how it doesn’t really matter if you are 4 or 40 years old.
It reminds me of the ER, where burnout rates are toppling over 60% for ER docs these days. It’s a place where there’s often something new, it’s unpredictable, depending on the day– your competence can be called into question (by patients, google, family members, consultants, etc.), and to top it off: you often have little or no control over how a shift progresses. ????
It really is N.U.T.S. most days. It’s also clear how the corporate takeover of medicine has removed most autonomy/ agency/ control which has further contributed to the burnout.
For everyone outside of the ER, I think this acronym sums up why Covid was so stressful. It was new, unpredictable, and most of us had little control over work, school for our kids, or what was going to happen next… Come to think of it, it applies to the recent hurricanes, elections, etc.
So this begs the question: how much stress is too much?
| This takes me to the Yerkes-Dodson Law, which essentially models the relationship between stress and performance. It theorizes that you reach your peak level of performance with an intermediate level of stress (or arousal). Too little or too much stress results in poorer performance. |
So, let’s be clear: some stress is good. But prolonged stress, especially without agency, can be damaging or downright detrimental and leads to significant burnout.
This is where coaching can be a big help. It allows you to step back from each of the N.U.T.S. and see what are the facts and what are your thoughts. (i.e. What’s happening? Vs. What am I making that mean?)
Where are you compounding your stressors?
Where do you have agency and control?
If you follow the stress level in the Yerkes-Dodson model, the X axis progresses in a logical fashion which I’m sure everyone can relate to: it starts with boredom and builds to
- –> laid back
- –> ‘eustress’ which is an optimal zone
- –> fatigue
- –> exhaustion
- –> distress (any version of anxiety, panic, overwhelm)
- –> Breakdown/ Burnout
When we start to tip into the Distressed Zone, we are prone to decreased attention, decreased working memory, and increased mind-wandering. This all leads to decreased performance. (Peak Mind is a great book if you are interested; it dives into the neuroscience of mindfulness and touches much more on this topic. I wrote about one of the highlights for me back in May) I digress, as I so often do…
I invite you to look at where you are on the continuum.
Bored–> Somewhere in the middle–>Distressed
When was the last time we were truly bored? Sometimes we may truly need this to recover! (I.e. See last week’s call for Radical Downtime!)
But for most, you have been “functioning” at the other end of the spectrum: fatigue, exhaustion, anxiety, panic, overwhelm or burnout. And not only does your performance suffer, so does your happiness.
But maybe you’ve had enough.
Maybe you are feeling ready to reassess?
Having a coach can help you stay in your optimal zone, dealing with challenges and stressors along the way while having support when you need it. Whether it’s something new or unpredictable or you’re feeling incompetent or lacking control: coaching can help.
If this sounds like something you may be ready for, hop on a quick consult call.
