The Wake-Up Call in the Check-Out Line:
Two weeks ago, I witnessed something that stopped me in my tracks.
I was standing in line at Costco, where I thought I’d grab a few things walking in but somehow was barely able to turn the last corner because of my over-loaded cart… just one of those days! 
But I paused because the woman in front of me was juggling her toddler on her hip while her older child circled around her legs asking for treats at the food court (churros, pizza, soft serve, oh my!)
Her phone kept buzzing. Each time, she’d shift her weight, adjust her squirming toddler, and check the message with a grimace.
“Sorry about this,” she told the cashier, fumbling to find her wallet while balancing everything else. “I’m heading straight to my laptop after this. My boss needs this finished by tomorrow morning.”
The cashier nodded sympathetically. “Sunday work? That’s rough.”
“Every weekend lately,” the woman sighed. “But hey, that’s the job, right?”
I watched as she paid, gathered her cart, corralled her kids, and rushed out – all while her phone buzzed again. I’m not even sure she could look up to notice the beautiful spring weather we were finally having.
And that’s when it hit me: somebody was winning big time in this scenario, and it definitely wasn’t her.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Your Exhaustion
Here’s what I want you to consider: Who actually benefits when you’re constantly running on empty?
Your employer gets extra hours they’re not paying for.
Consumer brands get your guilt-purchases when you’re too tired to say no to your kids in the store aisle.
Social media companies get your precious attention when you’re too exhausted to do anything but scroll.
Even your family, though you love them dearly, benefits from your martyr mode – they get a mom who never says no, who handles everything, who puts herself dead last on the priority list.
The hard truth? There’s an entire economy built around working mothers staying exhausted, overwhelmed, and too tired to advocate for themselves.
Your exhaustion is literally making other people money.
Womp womp. Let that sink in for a minute.
When you’re too tired to negotiate for what you deserve…
When you’re too overwhelmed to notice how much unpaid labor you’re doing…
When you’re too guilt-ridden to set boundaries with anyone…
Someone else is profiting from your depletion.
The Real Cost of Your ‘Yes’ to Everything
When you say yes to everything, you’re not just giving away your time – you’re giving away your power, your health, and your joy. Every time you agree to another commitment out of guilt or obligation, you’re making a withdrawal from your own well-being account that’s already in overdraft.
I see this in my coaching sessions constantly.
Here’s what these constant “yeses” actually cost you:
- Your physical health (hello, stress hormones, poor food choices, lack of exercise)
- Your mental bandwidth (decision fatigue is real)
- Your relationships (it’s hard to be present when you’re mentally planning tomorrow’s logistics, next week’s Teacher Appreciation week, summer schedules, and meal prep)
- Your career advancement (perfecting other people’s projects leaves no time for your own growth)
- Your financial well-being (how many ‘convenience purchases’ happen because you’re too exhausted to plan?)
And the kicker? Nobody’s giving you a medal for your martyrdom. They’re just getting used to your constant availability.
How Your Exhaustion Fuels Corporate Profits
Think about it: companies don’t have to provide alternative coverage or adequate paid leave when you’re willing to answer emails at midnight. They don’t need to implement family-friendly policies when you’ll figure out childcare on your own. Your willingness to stretch yourself thin directly translates to their bottom line.
As an ER doctor, I’ve seen the physiological impact of this chronic stress. Your body doesn’t know the difference between running from a predator and running from deadline to deadline while juggling family demands – it just knows it’s in danger.
Meanwhile, corporations are banking on your exhaustion. Literally.
The meal delivery service that charges a premium because you’re too tired to meal plan? Profit.
The “time-saving” gadgets marketed specifically to overwhelmed moms? Profit.
The productivity apps promising to help you squeeze more into your already impossible day? Profit.
Even the self-help industry selling you solutions to problems created by a system that demands too much from you in the first place? Massive profit.
The more depleted you are, the more you’ll pay for convenience, solutions, and the brief illusion of control. It’s a hell of a business model, and you’re footing the bill – with your time, your health, and yes, your actual money.
Reclaiming Your Time Is Revolutionary
This reality isn’t just about you and your calendar. It’s about a larger system that benefits when women – especially mothers – stay overwhelmed.
The most revolutionary thing you can do is refuse to participate in this game. (Or at minimum, limit your playing time!)
I learned this the hard way. Four years ago, I was that woman in Costco – except I was on a conference call while trying to drop off crying toddlers at preschool because I was too afraid to set boundaries with my team. I’d convinced myself that being constantly available was the price of success. Now I know the cost was my well-being.
When you start auditing your time and energy like the valuable resources they are…
When you learn exactly what energizes versus drains you…
When you create your Yes’s and No’s based on YOUR values…
You’re not just helping yourself – you’re disrupting a system designed to take advantage of your exhaustion.
This is why I’m so passionate about teaching working moms the ALIGN Method. It’s not just about managing your calendar better (maybe that’s a small part of it). It’s about recognizing your inherent worth outside of productivity and people-pleasing.
It’s about understanding that you can do it all (if you want!)– just not all at once, and certainly not at the expense of your well-being.
I see so many brilliant women carrying the mental load for everyone else, wearing their exhaustion like a badge of honor, while silently growing resentful.
You were never meant to live like this.
Breaking the Cycle of Mom Guilt and Overwhelm
The expectations placed on working mothers didn’t appear overnight – they’re the result of decades of cultural conditioning that tells us good mothers sacrifice everything. Breaking this cycle requires recognizing these messages for what they are: manipulation designed to keep you producing without complaint.
Let’s call mom guilt what it really is: a weapon. It’s been perfectly designed to keep you in line, keep you saying yes, and keep you putting yourself last on your own priority list.
Think I’m being dramatic? Consider how quickly the phrase “self-care” got co-opted and turned into yet another obligation. Now we’re supposed to excel at work, raise perfect children, maintain a Pinterest-worthy home, AND find time for elaborate bathtub rituals? Come on.
The truth is that the cycle continues because it’s profitable for everyone except you. But here’s what happens when you start setting boundaries:
At first, there’s resistance. People don’t like change, especially when that change means they can no longer count on your endless accommodation.
Then, something magical happens. People adjust. Systems adapt. And you discover that most of those “emergencies” weren’t emergencies at all.
The world keeps spinning when you say no. And you get to reclaim pieces of yourself you thought were lost forever.
Why Setting Boundaries Is More Than Self-Care
Setting boundaries isn’t just about bubble baths and me-time. It’s an act of resistance against a system that profits from your exhaustion. When you say “not right now” to demands on your time, you’re making a political statement about your worth that ripples far beyond your personal calendar.
When I work with clients on developing their “True Yes Framework,” we’re doing more than time management – we’re doing identity work. We’re challenging the core belief that a woman’s value lies in her ability to serve others at her own expense.
Every time you audit your calendar and remove something that doesn’t align with your values, you’re voting for a different kind of world. A world where mothers are seen as complete human beings with needs, wants, and aspirations of their own.
Every time you identify something that drains your energy and find a way to eliminate, delegate, or minimize it, you’re modeling a healthier relationship with time and energy for everyone around you – including your children.
And that’s the real revolution.
Imagine raising a generation of children who never question whether their needs and wants matter. Who understand that boundaries are a form of respect, not rejection. Who witness their mother treating herself with the same consideration she shows to others.
That’s not selfish. That’s world-changing.
Your Next Step: Choose Yourself (Guilt-Free)
If any of this resonates with you, here’s your invitation:
Join me for a free 30-minute Time Freedom Strategy Call this week.
During our call, I’ll help you identify your biggest time traps and give you 1-2 personalized strategies you can implement immediately. I only have 5 spots available this week, so don’t wait if you’re feeling the weight of overwhelm.
Trust me—this isn’t about adding more to your plate or teaching you to be “more productive” (ugh). It’s about giving you permission to put yourself back on your own priority list. It’s about you feeling less overwhelmed and less exhausted.
Because when you start valuing your time and energy as much as everyone else does, everything changes.
P.S. Remember: You can handle any emotion – including the discomfort of putting yourself first. And I promise, as you build this muscle, it gets easier.
Your time is waiting for you,
Heidi
One Response
Some days I would say exhausted is normal. The level of fatigue we can take on is not healthy