“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” ~Annie Dillard
There’s a story that circulates quite frequently; I can’t remember exactly where I heard it first. It’s about a professor who takes a large jar and fills it with golf balls and ask his class if it’s full. They agree, it’s full. Then he adds pebbles and ask again; they nod and say yes, now it’s full. Then he adds sand… and asks again: full now! Then he dumps in two drinks.
The point of the story: the golf balls are the important things in your life (for example: your family, your health, your friends and your favorite passions); if everything else was lost, your life would still be full. The pebbles are other things that matter… perhaps your job, your house… Everything else is the small stuff (the sand); but if you add the sand first, there isn’t room for golf balls or pebbles. And the same goes for life: if you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you won’t ever have room for the things that are important to you. At the end, the professor clarifies: no matter how full your life is, there’s always room for a drink with a friend.
So, what are the golf balls in your life? Take a minute to name your top five.
Then think about yesterday or last week; how much of your daily life is spent on your top priorities?
Maybe you’ve found yourself overbooked, overextended, and overcommitted?
What if you just have too many golf balls for the jar?
Trust me, you aren’t alone! No guilt or shame– sometimes, we also realize that our jars are filled with sand… like my car when my 4-year-old takes off his shoes after a sweaty day at the park. It happens to the best of us.
Pause, you may have to empty the jar and start intentionally adding back. And by connecting with your priorities and what you do want (Go back to my want to goals/ not have to goals)—with what truly matters most to you, you can refill and re-prioritize, ensuring the days/ weeks/ months/ years support YOU in this one precious life.
Here’s a hard lesson for the over-achievers and people-pleasers in the room: sometimes, this means saying no to things— sometimes a lot of things—even things that maybe we’d like to do, especially if our jar wasn’t so full.
Sometimes, it means finding someone else to take on the pebbles in our lives. And definitely the sand…
P.S. Always remember to take time for the drink with a friend
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