I read this book about a year ago and I wanted to share something I learned. Credit to https://www.thethreeyearexperiment.com/magic-balance/ for the image below.
Tal Ben-Shahar described four archetypes:
- Rate Racer: Suffer now for the purpose of some anticipated long-term gain.
- Hedonist: Enjoy the present and ignore the potential negative consequences of their actions
- Nihilist: Neither enjoy the present nor seek long-term fulfillment
- Happiness: Enjoy present state while also contributing to long-term fulfillment.
Why is this helpful?
For many of us, especially in medicine, we get stuck in the Rat Race. The focus is on short term suffering for some long-term fulfillment. This can be at any stage: for some it may be Undergrad Organic Chemistry or Molecular Bio. For others, it may have been Medical School itself… or Intern year… you name it: we have all been there. But what happens when the goal or accomplishment has been achieved? There may be a sense of achievement, but often it’s more of a sense of relief that this phase is over. Then the next goal or achievement is put into focus, and the rate race continues.
The Hedonist often seeks immediate pleasure/ avoids pain no matter what the long-term consequences. Over-eating and over-drinking are probably the most common way many of us can relate to this concept. Of course, gambling, drug addiction, etc. can be other examples.
Nihilists: this book illustrates this person as someone who has given up on happiness and stuck in acceping the short term isn’t fulfilling and they are unable to see how any of this might matter; and importantly, why would the future look any different than the current bleak shade of gray?
From Ben-Shahar’s perspective: the individual living in the present who can be fulfilled by what life currently has to offer in addition to knowing what you are doing is working toward a fulfilling future. This is the Happy quadrant. I will admit for me, my journey in Medical School was often (but certainly not always) lived in this quadrant. I was enjoying course work and loved learning; I had a great group of friends and colleagues. I also had fun extracurricular activities and knew that my success in this short-term period would also lead me to future goals. But then that phase ended… Residency began more of a rat race. The cycle continued.
Ok, so now what? How do we live in the Happy quadrant?
1. Set self-concordant goals: meaning goals that align with your authentic self— I’m not asking what you can do, but what do you really want to do?
2. Meaning, Pleasure and Strengths: What gives me meaning? What gives me pleasure? What are my strengths? Where do these overlap?
3. Extrinsic vs Intrinsic motivation: Extrinsic motivation: Seeking external affirmation: praise, payment, award, promotion. Intrinsic motivation: Seeking internal affirmation: doing something you care and are passionate about. This often loops back to: What do I value?
Where the extrinsic and intrinsic strengths overlap may be the zone that leads you to short and long-term happiness.
Finding passion: look for what you find to be meaningful, what you are good at and what gives you pleasure.
What I took away from this: when feeling completely overwhelmed as a physician and parent: I didn’t need to quit my job or run away from my children… I actually needed space to look at what I needed and wanted and honor those things! I started to take care of myself—and suddenly taking care of others wasn’t such a burden. In fact, the journey was more fun… and the destination wasn’t some far off (unobtainable) dream.
