 So you may have a new thought you are working on believing but aren’t quite there yet. That’s normal! If you already believed it, this wouldn’t be an issue. But how to you get from something that feels real (but terrible) to somewhere that feels great or inspiring (but totally like a fairy tale)? Build a ladder. Break down the thoughts and build rung by rung until the top rung is believable. Sometimes it takes an hour to get there. Sometimes it takes weeks. I’ll offer you one I’m working on: success is hard and comes with suffering. Ugh. This feels heavy and terrible yet true in the ER on tough shifts. In fact, it really makes you question ‘what does success look like?’ |
New thought I’m trying on: Success can be easy and fun. Let me tell you, my brain has offered a lot of contrarian evidence.
So how do you move from point A to point Z? Break it down.
My brain has a lot to back up the first thought. Med school. Residency. Attending life. Kids. Covid. My brain sees my new thought and knows it poses a distinct threat to the consistency and security of my current life.
Want to see a ladder being built? See how each step can feel believable:
Success is hard; I have suffered to get here and it’s not what I thought it would look like.
Maybe, success doesn’t always have to be super hard.
There have been some things in my life where I have been successful and it wasn’t that hard.
I’ve seen some people have success and it’s possible it was easy or fun for them.
I have actually been successful at a few things that were easy.
I’ve had fun and been successful before.
Success could be easy and fun.
Success can be easy and fun.
See where I’m going here? Sometimes, it takes incremental shifts to take the brain from A to Z.
Want a pro coaching tip:
Scan for Evidence along the way.
I try to look for examples where “rungs on the ladder” are true. ‘Natural’ childbirth is one example for me. I know this can be a button-pushing topic for many. Bear with me… no pun intended.
For me, my top priority was healthy baby/ healthy momma and I was super fortunate for many reasons. I didn’t have a novel of a birth plan, but I wanted as little meds as possible and preferred to go epidural-free if possible; full honesty: the needle in my back creeped me out and I wanted to be able to move freely. Fast forward: my water broke about 30 hours before I was officially going to be induced. I was 41 weeks/ 2 days by dates. I tried to roam the halls to speed up/intensify contractions. My blood pressure was high. I needed Pitocin. After an hour or two, I started to have a few pretty strong contractions. There were two when I felt like I was really trying not to push and thought I was going to abrupt my own uterus. I was only 6 or 7 cm dilated on my last check.
These were the five minutes when I decided that I wasn’t going to do this for 20+ hours. A very kind, sweet nurse offered to check again; her face wasn’t optimistic (I figured based on timing and this being baby #1). It turns out: IT WAS GO-TIME! I didn’t need to hold off from pushing anymore. I just needed to listen to my body. Guess what: that was actually WAY easier than I expected. And in the end: the most beautiful little being joined me on my chest. Both momma and baby were healthy: SUCCESS!
Hmmm… maybe success can be easier than expected and fun? There were no screams like the movies…and there were only happy tears at the end.
PS. It turns out– with my second, I went into his delivery with the belief this could be fun and easy. And it was.
A belated Happy Mother’s Day to all my mommas out there! Sometimes motherhood, like some ER shifts, isn’t easy. But when we scan for it: there are times it is and for me, it’s helpful to remember those times, too.
