The Manual: The last two weeks, I talked about the manual or the “instruction guide” we have for someone in our lives about how we would like them to behave so we can feel good and happy. Often, we don’t tell the other person what’s in our manual… somehow they should “just know.” The other piece: we often don’t even realize we have it OR see the pain it causes.
I saw an anonymous post recently from a frustrated mom/ physician struggling with a boss and ready to not take a job that was a great fit for her because of this boss… This exercise is perfect for these types of scenarios, because there is so much freedom when you can detach yourself from another person’s actions. It’s a get out of jail free card.
I’m spending so much time on this topic because this was one of my biggest wins during my coaching certification program… with so many ah-ha moments from this exercise, I had to share! (P.S. I’m not talking about tolerating abuse, neglect, etc… Boundaries are a must.)
Take 15 minutes to work on this one. It’s so helpful if you are struggling with a child, boss, partner, sibling, parent…
Think about someone you want to change and write their name.
Write, in detail, what you would like them to do.
For each item, write down why you want them to behave in this way.
How do you think you would feel if they behaved this way?
How would your thoughts about them change if they behaved this way?
Do you want them to behave this way even if they don’t want to? Why or why not?
What do you make it mean when they don’t behave this way?
When someone wants you to behave in a certain way to make them feel good, what is that like for you?
| Still struggling with this person? I get it. If only the tantruming child or jerk of a boss would just do XYZ… then you could feel happy. But there’s another way. Reach out this week for a free coaching session and get unstuck now. |
Or finally FEELING READY? Join our small group right away– we meet on Sundays or Wednesdays: it’s an amazing space for connection, acceptance, and growth.
My goal is to create the most supportive learning environment and bring huge value at a reasonable price. I believe doctors deserve that. $100/month: 4 group sessions/month.
*Discounts available for Medical Students and Residents. So pass along to anyone who might be interested!
Email me @ doctorsempowered@gmail.com with any questions.
