Hey there! The last two weeks, I touched on the exhaustion of most working moms and the Unapologetic No. While these two things are intimately linked in more ways than you might think… one way: how we see ourselves, both physically and mentally.
Why Body Image Matters for Busy Working Moms
Picture this: You’re looking in the mirror before a shower, and that familiar voice in your head starts up with the same old criticism. You know the one. “I hate my belly.” “My thighs are too big.” “Where the hell did that cellulite come from?” Let alone the thoughts that come spewing forth from the lies the scale tries to tell…
Sound familiar?
I get it. That inner critic can be relentless. But what if I told you that you don’t have to jump from hating your body straight to loving it overnight? What if there’s a practical, step-by-step way to shift those thoughts… and it actually works?
The Connection Between Body Image and Exhaustion
I recently teamed up with my sister Hanna (Personal Stylist extraordinaire @hannaleestyle) on a podcast talking about this because she’s witnessed the out loud critiques in the dressing room with women of all shapes and sizes. It should launch later this week!
Understanding the Thought Ladder Technique:
The Magic of Thought Ladders
Bottom line: we all have thoughts. All day, every day. And just like bodies, our thoughts come in every size, shape, and color you can imagine. Some serve us. Some don’t.
When it comes to body image, those negative thoughts might feel cemented in place. But here’s what I know from both my coaching experience and personal journey: thoughts can be changed. Not overnight, not with toxic positivity, but with intentional, believable shifts.
This is where the Thought Ladder comes in – one of the most powerful tools I share with my clients.
From Negative to Neutral to Positive: The Journey
What Is a Thought Ladder?
A thought ladder helps you bridge the gap between where you are now (maybe “I hate my body”) and where you want to be (“I appreciate my body”).
The key? You can’t jump straight from the bottom to the top! Just like you can’t skip many rungs on a real ladder (or you’ll likely end up in my ER), you need intermediate thoughts that you can actually believe.
Example: Transforming “I Hate My Body” Step by Step
For instance, let’s look at a thought ladder for someone starting with “I hate my body”:
- “I notice I have strong negative feelings about my body right now” (awareness)
- “My body is just trying to keep me alive, regardless of how it looks” (fact)
- “My body has gotten me through difficult times” (appreciation)
- “There might be some aspects of my body that serve me well” (possibility)
- “My body deserves basic care and respect” (compassion)
- “I can acknowledge my body has strengths beyond appearance” (reframing)
- “It’s possible to feel neutral about my body sometimes” (neutrality)
- “I can find moments of gratitude for what my body allows me to experience” (gratitude)
- “I’m beginning to appreciate certain aspects of my body” (specific appreciation)
- “I love my body for all it does for me and all it is” (love)
How to Create Your Own Body Image Thought Ladder:
Building the Muscle
Listen, this work isn’t about slapping positive affirmations on top of negative beliefs. That’s like putting a bandaid on a broken arm.
It’s about building the muscle to recognize when you’re being unkind to yourself and having practical steps to shift that thinking. Each rung of the ladder should feel slightly uncomfortable but still believable.
And remember: discomfort is part of growth. When you find yourself resisting a more positive thought, that’s actually a good sign you’re stretching beyond your comfort zone.
Your Weekly Body Image Challenge
- Notice one negative thought you have about your body. Write it down.
- Create your own thought ladder with 5-7 steps between your current thought and where you’d like to be.
- Spend at least two days with each new thought. Write it down, say it out loud, *find evidence that supports it.*
- Notice how different thoughts create different feelings and actions.
Food for Thought
Ask yourself:
- What would change in your daily life if you felt neutral about your body?
- What if you stopped spending time, money, and energy trying to change your body? What else would you do with those resources?
- Whose opinion about your body matters most to you, and why?
The ALIGN Method for Body Thoughts
Remember: You can truly have a good relationship with your body exactly as it is today. You can choose to feel confident, joyful, liberated, powerful…you name it.
Just as we ALIGN our calendars with our values, we can ALIGN our thoughts with how we want to feel in our bodies.
Breaking Free from Body Criticism: Next Steps
Building a healthier relationship with your body isn’t about reaching some perfect end state. It’s about creating freedom from the mental prison of body criticism. It’s about energy management – redirecting what’s currently being drained by negative thoughts into what truly matters to you. Remember, there are HUGE industries making billions of dollars counting on (and contributing to) women hating their bodies—further leading to the exhaustion of working moms. Here’s where the Unapologetic No comes in; feel free to say NO to that &%*$.
Ready to build your ladder? I’m here to help.
Until next time,
Heidi
P.S. If you’re struggling with where to start on your thought ladder, book a free consultation with me. Sometimes an outside perspective is exactly what we need to see the next rung clearly.
Want more free coaching tips on the regular? Sign up here for your free Body Image Thought Starter Kit.
And last but certainly not least: if you want some personal styling: find Hanna @ hannaleestyle.com or Instagram: @hannaleestyle .
I’ll let you know when the podcast goes live!
