Last week, we explored Michael Gervais’ powerful message from ‘The First Rule of Mastery’: Stop Worrying About What People Think of You. Gervais argues that our preoccupation with others’ opinions often holds us back from reaching our full potential. We discussed how this fear of judgment can paralyze us, keeping us from taking risks and pursuing what truly matters.
As I reflected on Gervais’ message this week while working with clients, something striking emerged, I notice people typically get stuck at two critical points: they’re worried about what other people think (as Gervais pointed out), and I’m going to be blunt: they think really terrible shit about themselves! You know the voice I mean – the one that whispers a shaming message: your version of It must be me….I’m not good enough.
After last week’s message, have you noticed your “inside voice” being any kinder lately?
If so, why?
If not: FFS WHY not!?
Sometimes it’s habits: old, crappy habits.
BUT, good news: the brain can change. And the first place to start is catching yourself when it starts. Maybe you’ve been more aware of the mean voice inside?
Perfect; you hit a line drive and are on first base.
Heads up, I’m about to run with this really cheesy sports analogy. I love sports but know very little about baseball. Just hang with me though, I think it works.
Want to know the ‘home run’ in this scenario? –> When the thought doesn’t even pop up anymore.
But it’s hard to ‘catch’ the absence of something, right?
With practice, these are the natural progressions when a failure comes up, you make a mistake, you get negative feedback, or you are critiquing your appearance or job performance, etc.
Striking out: talking mean shit about yourself. Too much XYZ, too little ABC, not good enough, etc. This is when that inner critic is in full control, and you believe every word.
I can’t tell you how often little stuff used to pop up, and I used to mumble inside my head: “how could you be so stupid!” This could be a delayed order at work (I’m an ER doc; delays suck for everyone), a missed meeting, forgetting something for one of my kids, etc.
“How could you be so stupid” = Total strikeout.
1st Base (Your First Win): Noticing: ‘Damn, I’m mean (to me).’ This is huge – awareness is the first step to change. When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, you’re already making progress.
2nd Base (Building Momentum): “Wait, I would never speak to a friend that way. I want to work on this.” You’re not just noticing now – you’re recognizing that this self-talk isn’t healthy or deserved. You’re starting to challenge those thoughts.
3rd Base (Almost There): “I notice I normally speak to myself in pretty negative ways when XYZ situations arise. But I know if I pause, I wouldn’t speak that way to a friend and what I’m repeating on auto-pilot isn’t really true.” Now you’re seeing patterns. You understand your triggers and can catch yourself before the negative spiral starts.
Home Run (The Ultimate Goal): These thoughts just disappear. Like magic? No – like practice.
Remember my old “How could you be so stupid”… fast forward through some coaching, noticing, and practice– I truly cannot tell you the last time that thought “popped up.”
In my book, this is a total Home Run.
Anything you’d like to stop telling yourself?
I promise these thoughts are part of what is stopping you from having your dream life. Telling yourself that you are too stupid, too fat, too much, too little, not good enough. It’s poison.
Stop it!
And if you can’t on your own, sign up for a coaching call. This doesn’t need to be hard.
P.S. Ready to silence that cruel inner voice once and for all? I’ve opened extra slots this week!
Get in before the holidays and:
– Navigate family gatherings with more confidence
– Start 2025 with a stronger mindset
– Finally break free from old patterns that have held you back
Click here to schedule your free 30-minute consultation.
Don’t let another day go by letting that inner critic run the show. Your future self will thank you for taking this step.
