“Shackles on, shackles off test.”

Sharing another one of my favorites: Steering by Starlight By Martha Beck (the OG Life Coach)

I love chapter 2: Wizard versus Lizard: The Battle for Your Brain

Quick recap: we all have an inner lizard: she brings us to our reptilian brain, which is old evolutionarily; its only job is to keep us safe and to “broadcast survival fears—alarm reactions that keep animals alive in the wild. These fears fall into two categories: lack and attack… that we lack everything we need: we don’t have enough love, time, money, everything. On the other hand, something terrible is about to happen.”

Think about what most political ads tap into… but this is often what stops us from doing what we want in life. “Lack and attack fears are the major sources of the smog that keeps you from steering by starlight.” “When our sense of destiny moves us toward actions that spark lack-and attack fears—especially when they violate the norms of the people who socialized us, our inner lizards can stop us dead in our tracks.”

 

 

“There’s one simple way to tell the difference between a wise course of action (even if it’s scary) and a lizard response (even if it sounds comforting). I call this the shackles on, shackles off test.”

“Enlightenment always tastes of freedom. Not comfort. Not ease. Freedom.”

“The way you can tell you’re following fear away from your North Star is that while this course may feel safe, it will also feel imprisoning. The way you can tell that something lies true north, even though inner-lizard fear says to run from it, is that it feels liberating.”

For my medical folks, this is what being in an administrative role felt like for me… when I quit, it was absolutely a “shackles off” moment. I realized it wasn’t what aligned with who I was or what I was meant to be doing. Quitting wasn’t comfortable; in fact, it felt hard. I had all the “shoulds” run through my head. But when I thought about it: I was free. 

I also like the advice she gives about breaking down small components of things if you are confused about “which way feels freer?” She gave an example of motherhood and specific tasks. By looking at the components, perhaps there are pieces that are “shackles on” and parts that are “shackles off”… can you start to drop the parts that are “shackles on”?

Allow your brain to think outside the box. If you’re struggling with the weight of social norms/ shoulds/ have to’s– coaching is the fastest way out that I have ever experienced! 

Do you feel imprisoned by a 20/ 40/ 60/ 80 hour work week? Are you a full time physician and parent with no time for yourself and feeling stuck?

Are you ready to start feeling more free? Even if it feels scary and your inner lizard is telling you to run… Reach out this week for a free coaching session.